Review: Bride Wars (2009)

Bride Wars follows Anne Hathaway as Emma Allen and Kate Hudson as Olivia Lerner, although this doesn't matter as you will simply remember the pair as Anne Hathaway and Kate Hudson. Their characters are childhood friends who grow up fantasising about their dream weddings at a particular fancy hotel they both love. Both characters are proposed to by their boyfriends (Hathaway's partner is played by Chris Pratt, and Hudson's is played by Steve Howey). However, when they try to book their weddings at their dream hotel, the only dates available are at the same time, on the same day. Neither woman wants to give up her dream wedding, so they fight to outdo each other in having the grandest celebration, sabotaging the others attempts in a hilarious series of events.

Except for the part where none of this is hilarious or even mildly funny or charming. If anyone starts laughing at this film, I can only assume it is from the despair of knowing their IQ has dropped.

This is not just one of the worst chick flicks I have ever seen, it is one of the worst films I have ever seen in general. I hate this film. I hate it so much.

Anne Hathaway is a good actress who can be a part of better work and I don't know why she gets cast in flimsy films like this. Kate Hudson is not as good an actress as a her co-star by any stretch, but at least she can be likeable, as How to Lose a Guy in Ten Days showed us. Neither of these ladies are likeable or even entertaining in this film.

There is no plot here. There is only a set-up at the beginning where we come to establish why Hathaway and Hudson want to get married in their particular hotel. Then they get proposed to. Then they find out that they will have to get married at the same time, on the same day in separate ceremonies. From there it is just a series of skits of the pair ruining each others preparations for the wedding, such as Hudson making Hathaway bright orange when she tries to get a spray tan or Hathaway dying Hudson's hair blue. There are these long moments of silence in the film where the sabotaged woman of the scene will realise what has happened and make a horrified expression. It's awkward. Did the directors and editors just expect the audience to erupt into great belly laughs? Is that why the silence is there, so that we don't miss any of the "plot" while we're all beside ourselves laughing?

There is a resolution at some point near the end, only to cut to some months later when the pair meet up and reveal they are both pregnant and their due dates are the same day. Then it's the end credits.

Good grief, imagine if the people involved in this were actually expecting to make a sequel?

It's unfunny, bland and charmless. I can't stand this film and dear reader, I do not want to waste our time on it anymore.

THE SCOREBOARD

Chick Flick Check List Elements: [if !supportLists]1, 5, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 17, 18, 19, 23, 35, 36, 42, 50, 51, 54, 55, 57, 58, 60.

Total: 21

Is this really a chick flick or will men like it too? No one will like this film. No one should see this film or have been a part of making it. Yes, it is a chick flick, but we "chicks" deserve far, far better.

Would I recommend this film? God no.

Favourite quote: "It's over. It's finally over." - Me. Funny, this was the exact same quote from my Wedding Daze review.

Film rating: 1/10