Reaction Review: Not Cinderella's Type (2018)

Before watching this film, I chose to experience the trailer for it several times. This is because the trailer indicated the plot was as follows: girl falls in love with guy who killed her cat with his car.

Yes, this is in the promotional advert for this film. As we all know, true love starts with a murdered cat!

I am so excited for this to be bad. I've already endured a couple of bad dog based romances, why not finally watch one featuring a cat?

The film (as the title suggests) isn't really about cats though. It's a modern day retelling of Cinderella, and no, we didn't need another one. This one is based on a novel of the same name by Jenni James, who happens to be one of two screenwriters for this film. Our protagonist really is called Cindy Ella (Cinderella. Get it? GEDDIT?!?!?). However, she prefers to go by "Indy" (played by Paris Warner).

Not Cinderlla's Type (directed by Brian Brough) begins with young Indy's birthday party, a scene so idyllic that it manages to resemble a television commercial more than it appears to be a real memory in this girls head. Older Indy narrates this birthday party montage mostly to highlight how much she loved her mother, who gave her a kitten at this party. Somewhat interestingly, Indy's father is already out of the picture in this flashback. It is heavily implied that he just straight up left Indy and her mother, never to be seen again.

He couldn't handle how clean and perfect their life together was I suppose.

In the original Cinderella story, the mother is already dead and the father remarries, hence the evil stepmother character. Here though, the father is gone and Wonder Mother soon dies, just as film mothers tend to do so in opening, exposition-heavy, backstory scenes. So if there is no evil stepmother, who does Indy live with?

Her evil aunt of course! As well as her uncle and two female cousins, who happen to be the same age as her. They weren't subtle in showing how times have changed for Indy either. They cut from this:

To this, with the first line of dialogue being "Geez, that funeral was way too long," courtesy of Indy's uncle:

This is immediately followed by the aunt and kids moaning about how boring the funeral was and how they didn't like the food. They all go inside, leaving Indy on the front porch as she stares up at where she is going to be living from now on.

A bit hard to be compassionate for Indy here, as the house itself is un-threatening and it seems to be a nice neighbourhood. Yes that party at the beginning was pretty and nicely shot, but we don't know where Indy originally lived. Once that party was over, she could have returned to a Shrek-like swamp for all we know.

At least in A Cinderella Story, we saw the change going on in Sam's (Sam is the Cinderella character in that film) house before and after her father died. It, (as well as Sam's father's diner) went from being a modestly decorated yet homely house to a vibrant pink showcase for the stepmother to display as she wanted.

Anyway, Indy stands alone in her funeral dress with her cat in her arms staring up at the house. Someone had to come outside and fetch her eventually though, because it cuts to her aunt leading Indy into the attic.

"Here's your room," the aunt says. "Our neighbour's grandmother died so they gave us her bed, so you be sure to be grateful."

Charming. However, after this, the aunt offers to help Indy have the attic redecorated.

"Won't that be nice?" She says.

Actually yes, I think that sounds quite nice. Despite the dead old lady mattress and the collection of storage boxes in the attic, it's nice that the aunt wants Indy to have the place to her liking so that she will feel at home. Maybe this isn't an evil stepmother figure, maybe she's just a kooky aunt type character.

"Look, I understand that your mom just died, but I will not have you moping around. You will have chores to do and you will be expected to help around the house. AND you will be keeping this room clean. You're ten years old, there's no excuse for messiness." The aunt continues.

...And of course, she's just another "evil" caricature. Look, I'm not expecting depth here. The film is called Not Cinderella's Type for goodness sake. But if you are going to adapt this fairy tale to the screen yet again, at least bring something new and interesting to a character that has been around for centuries. They haven't revealed this character's name yet, hence why I am referring to her as "the aunt", but I will also stand by this GIF as her identity for now:

She's even dressed in all purple, just like a Disney cartoon villain. I hope they will turn this around and make her an amusing, memorable character but right now I doubt that.

Young Indy with her aunt (played by JJ Neward)

The aunt leaves, and Indy curls up on the dead old lady mattress with her cat. It then awkwardly transitions to a few years later, where the room has been redecorated and Indy is now in her teens. I say the transition is awkward because they fade out the shot of young Indy fades into a shot of current, teenage Indy, who is lying in the same position as young Indy. This could have been a good, smooth transition, but the two shots don't align, so when they are transparent over/under the other, they don't meet neatly and it looks clunky.

So Indy (now played in the rest of the film by Paris Warner) wakes up to her alarm clock which she switches off. She fusses the head of her fluffy white cat.

"Well Mrs Wiggins, we can't stay in bed all day,' she says to her cat. Mrs Wiggins is her cats name. I don't care if this is a ridiculous nitpick, but that is a terrible cat name. Oddly, it isn't the first time I've heard someone call their cat "Mrs" in a film. Really, who receives a kitten and thinks to themselves "Ah, I shall christen you with the title of a married lady"?

Dear Hollywood, here is a list of female cat names I have heard several actual people christen their pet with. They are a bit easier on the ear than Mrs Wiggins:

• Minnie

• Honey

• Daisy

• Missy

• Kiki

• Luna

• Lucy

On the upside, it's marginally better than Fluffy I suppose. Also, we're only 2:50 minutes into this film.

Indy is next seen downstairs with her adopted family, who she is making breakfast for. One of her cousins complains of a crack on her phone screen, to which the aunt assures her that they will go and buy her a new phone right after school that day.

The amount of "We're rich and therefore bad" the writers have thrown at these characters is cringeworthy to the point where I'm actually somewhat insulted. This is a television film made for the Hallmark Channel, an American network that shows tame romance films aimed at grown women. The remarkable shallowness of these caricatures (I don't feel right referring to them as "characters" again, as that implies they possess genuine character traits a person could identify with) would make you wince if they were part of a Disney channel show, let alone something aimed at adults.

I'm not dense. When your protagonist is a teenage girl, you know that your target audience will be in the same demographic as your lead because that's who they are supposed to relate to. But Indy is a teenager: children, let alone teenagers, should not be spoken down to in this way. Maybe this is a piece of throwaway fluff that should be light viewing for all, and that can be fine. Treat your audience to fun fluff, don't make them feel stupid because you think they are.

Anyway, Indy excitedly asks if she can have her cousins old phone, to which no one replies so she happily digs into the bin and pulls it out. Why wouldn't a character like Indy have her own phone already? In A Cinderella Story, Sam had her own phone. It was important not just for the romance aspect (in which it was heavily involved), but it was how her stepmother Fiona could call Sam and demand tasks from her to be completed whenever Fiona wanted her to do them. It was a good way of showing how chained the Cinderella character was to her family in the modern day transition.

...And I have got to go the rest of this review without comparing Not Cinderella's Type to A Cinderella Story. It isn't fair on the former film to keep doing that.

Indy and her cousins head off to school, with the aunt (played by JJ Neward, who at first glance I was sure was Donna Lynne Champlin from Crazy Ex Girlfriend but soon realised that this lady didn't have Champlin's talent or likability) waving off the cousins but ignoring Indy as she goes by. She does however, wave to a woman who is watering her plants and who only looks up when the aunt calls "Good morning Mrs Whitman." This is then followed by the aunt snarling somewhat, and immediately heading inside.

That was so random and forced that it can only mean it's going to come back later somehow. I'll say now that I think Mrs Wickman will be the Fairy Godmother character.

We now see Indy in school, her voice over narrator coming back into play in a moment to rip off Mean Girls, reminding me that I could be watching that film instead: "Every school has their social stereotypes, like the band geeks, the jocks, the under achievers. I guess I fit in with the too-normal to classify kids." Cady -uh, I mean Indy- continues her monologue as the most popular guy in school, Bryant Bailey, comes strolling down the hall, as he chats away with three girls. "So annoying." Indy says, an attitude that doesn't fit. When she was in the kitchen making breakfast for her aunt, uncle and cousins, Indy seemed overly positive and cheerful, trying to make the best of a bad situation like the traditional Cinderella character. That's fine. So why would she be bothering herself in thinking that the most popular guy in school is "annoying" when she should have a lot more in her life to be worried about?

Well, let's think for a moment. Our lead finds a guy annoying, and he's the only guy around her age we've seen so far in this film, so therefore he can only be her love interest later on. Also, I already watched the part where he reacts to running Indy's cat over in the trailer half a dozen times, which therefore means I have seen the trailer and probably most of the film because of that.

Two of the girls traipsing after Bryant (played by Tim Flynn) are Indy's cousins (i.e. ugly stepsisters who aren't ugly here) Jada and Kaitlyn (it's okay, this name isn't spelt the same way as mine). The other girl is Mackenzie, who is Bryant's younger sister and who Indy thinks is decent, although the two of them have never spoken.

Like the majority of Hallmark produced films I review for this site, I am viewing this on the world's most popular video site, although I won't name it because I don't want to be sued for viewing films online that aren't available on DVD in my country. Anyway, I don't know if it's the film itself, or the website, but there is something wrong with the quality of it. Sometimes it will repeat a couple of seconds back three times, like when Indy is taking her seat now in the lunch hall, or earlier when one of her cousins said something, but her mouth moved in the way it had for the sentence she had just spoken after she had already moved her mouth in time for that. I hope that makes sense. It's more frustrating to me that I don't know what the cause of it is, but I know I can't be angry at the film for that, so carrying on:

Indy talks us through her subjects including "P.E. Ugh, how I hate P.E." They show Indy on an outdoor running track as she says this. Film, maybe next time get your lead actress to look a tad more out of breath, sweaty and uncomfortable instead of her running in what looks to be a respectable athletic style without sweat. The first shot of her on the running track even shows her appearing to be ahead of another girl (and why are there only two girls running in this P.E. class?).

This is Indy. She hates running. You can tell just by how adept she is at it.

Indy is later joined at lunch by her best friend, Maxton. It's interesting how in the Cinderella retelling films I've seen (notably 1998's Ever After and 2004's A Cinderella Story, which I now firmly promise not to reference again unless I feel it is absolutely necessary), that the Cinderella character always has a close male friend who is never in the running to be a potential love interest for her, though he is implied to have unrequited, unspoken affections for her. I think that this must be a callback to the pantomime character "Buttons", who appears in most family friendly theatre productions of Cinderella as someone whose love for the titular character is unrequited, although he is generally comedic. However, that has nothing to do with the original fairy tale. There's nothing particularly critical I can or want to put here, I just wanted to point it out because I think it's interesting that people are choosing to continue this theatrical element to the screen and I am curious to know why that is. Also, Indy mentions in voice over that her aunt is called Clarisse, and I remember this from the trailer now.

"And that's my life. Isn't it grand?" Indy says sarcastically. But then she continues. "I mean, it's not perfect, but whose life is?"

Now hold on a minute. You've been weakly sarcastic with us for the past two minutes, and now you're going back to being modest, Indy? How many people sat around to write your dialogue? I know people can be more than one thing, that's the great part about humans and a wonderful sign of character development. However, the things have to connect somehow. You can't be sarcastically bitter about your life but also modestly unaware of how bad things are for you as sappy "feel sorry for me" music plays over your narration.

"This is awful," Indy's uncle says to Indy about the breakfast she made for him, presumably the following day from the previous scene. "You must have learned to cook from your mother." Then he, Clarisse, Kaitlyn and Jada all laugh because they are just that evil, as Indy stands awkwardly. Also, the uncle seems very camp. I hope it's relevant to the character somehow, but come on. At this point, we all know it's an actor being hammy in their role because they heard the word "antagonist" attached to it.

Indy (Paris Warner) looking on as her adoptive family have their morning laugh over Indy's dead mother jokes.

"[After Indy's mother died] I didn't expect [life] to stay the same, but I also didn't expect it to get worse." Narrator Indy tells us as actual Indy goes to her attic room to get her school bag. When she leaves, the door is left open behind her and Mrs Wiggins follows after her. Here it comes.

Ignoring the pan up from a shot of Kaitlyn/Jada's front car light with a grotesque plastic pink eyelash on it as best as I can (why are rich people in films always so tasteless with their money?), a very large rover comes around the corner as Mrs Wiggins slips out past Indy. The car collides with the cat, and R.I.P Mrs Wiggins. Indy rushes to her cat and breaks down in tears. The driver, "annoying" Bryant Bailey leaps out of his car and apologises profusely to Indy while her two cousins stand behind her, watching the scene. They aren't in focus, yet appear to be playing with their hair, because even with their crying cousin on the ground cradling her just killed cat, they've still got to look hot for Bryant Bailey, right?

It also looks a little like she's cradling a white fluffy hat

A few days appear to pass as the two cousins hang onto either side of Bryant, thanking him for stopping by the other day. He points out that he didn't stop by, he killed Indy's cat, which the two girls laugh about and claim they forgot. Bryant, why don't you walk away?

Of course, Indy heard the whole thing but was hiding behind her locker door until Maxton (Tanner Gillman) approaches her. This only draws Bryant's attention to her, and Indy runs away with Maxton. When alone, Bryant calls out to Indy again, but she walks away, ignoring him. Bryant has a chat with his father, who has just started working at the school as a guidance counsellor. His father is supportive and assures Bryant that Indy will listen to him eventually. To the films credit, it's actually really nice to see what appears to be a healthy father-son relationship onscreen, there seems to be a lack of those in film.

Next we see Indy and Maxton running, and now I know why it looked so effortless when Indy did it the first time: it's a green screen behind them and they are running on the spot. I had my suspicions the first time, (particularly as the shot of the running track I showed above looked entirely animated), but it really took the beauty of two teenagers trying to look like they are actually running side by side with a poor piece of CGI behind them to open my eyes to this. It looks doubly worse, when Indy falls and lands on what appears to be actual grass. Why didn't they just shoot on location then?

Also, why are there still only two teenagers in this gym class? Oop no, there's three, as Bryant pulls Indy up from the ground.

"What are you doing here?' Indy asks with irritation.

"Being a gentleman and helping you up?" Bryant replies.

That actually made me smile, I won't deny it.

Bryant confronts Indy about why she keeps ignoring him. Indy actually responds with clear, fair answers. He had never cared to speak to her before he killed Mrs Wiggins, and the cat wasn't only a beloved pet, but the last gift her mother ever gave her. She doesn't want to talk to Bryant because she doesn't want him to be pitying her and feeling better about himself when he's kind to her. She walks away.

Later in his home, Bryant is unhappily thinking about Indy. He talks to his dad about her, and once he hears Indy's full name, it becomes clear that Dr Bailey (as we shall call Bryant's father, as he is a psychiatrist) knows about Indy's tragic past. Bryant asks his father how he knows, and Dr Bailey tells him to sit down, that once he has explained Indy's story to his son, perhaps he will know how to apologise to Indy properly.

Okay, so we're about to get Indy's backstory, on how her mother died and how she came to live with her aunt. Here we go-

Actually we don't, instead it cuts to Clarisse yelling to Indy that she better come downstairs, as Indy is curled up in bed feeling sad. "Cindy Ella Zimmerman!" She yells. Ooh. That's a name to rival "Anastasia Steele" and "Alvin Flang" for lack of reality. Clarisse comes up the stairs and confronts Indy, whom she realises is ill and decides it is best for Indy to stay in bed and not infect the others with her germs.

At a football game Maxton is playing in, Bryant approaches him and asks where Indy is and why she isn't at Maxton's game. Maxton tells Bryant that Indy texted to say she was ill, but reveals that even if Indy wasn't ill, she wouldn't go to one of Maxton's games because Clarisse is so strict. Bryant thanks him, and it's a nice exchange, but it does include one of the things to never do in dialogue writing: saying a characters name to them. How often, if ever, do you ever say someones name in conversation? A maximum of once, and that's only really to catch someones attention. Bryant says Maxton's name far too much.

Right, I need to ease up writing this live reaction review because we are only ten minutes in. Let's play the classic game of "Try to watch the film without writing about it" and see how long I can last. I will try to go for ten whole minutes without detailing everything about this film.

I outdid myself dear reader, as it has been twenty minutes since I last wrote on here about this film. Eating food to keep my hands busy was a very helpful tactic.

So, in short, Bryant visits Indy and they go for a walk, during which he reveals what his father told him about Indy. It turns out that Dr Bailey was at the scene of Indy's mother's death. He was the one who called an ambulance for her, and he sat with her, holding her hand, as she spoke her last words. She asked him to let Indy know just how much she loved her, and that she would be with Indy, no matter what. Indy remembers a man visiting her before her mothers funeral to tell her those things, not realising it was Bryant's dad. It's feels a bit like a soap opera in terms of delivery (notably more so the flashback sequences of Indy's mother dying, not the young actors), but it's not too embarrassing to watch.

Indy and Bryant (Tim Flynn) discussing Indy's mother.

There was also an odd moment in which Clarisse confronts Indy as to why she has Jada's shirt in her room. Indy reveals that Jada didn't want the shirt anymore because it had a stain on it. Clarisse tells Indy to work harder at getting the stain out and to return it to Jada as soon as it is gone.

Now hold on a second. The same woman who was fine with her daughter chucking her mobile phone in the bin and let Indy have it ISN'T okay that Indy wanted a secondhand shirt? Clarisse, get your priorities straight. I don't care what designer made that plain shirt that conveniently doesn't display any logos or references to pop culture, the shirt is a less offensive thing to throw away than a mobile phone. If you didn't want Indy to have the phone you could a least sell it. What would you get from a secondhand shirt?

Anyway, Bryant and Indy return to Clarisse's house, where they discuss how despite the fact there are six bedrooms in the house, Indy has to have the attic, something she pretends to be fine with. Indy's cousins arrive and begin to corner Bryant who soon leaves, but they do manage to get Bryant to agree to attend their party (which is essentially just a film night with a group of friends, I think "party" is a strong word). Clarisse orders Indy to do lots of chores around the house in preparation for this "party", including cleaning the entire house and making fresh snacks for everyone.

On the day of the party, Indy is clearly not invited to it and so she goes and lies outside on the trampoline. Bryant joins her and offers her his shirt to keep her warm (relax, it was already unbuttoned as he's wearing a dark t-shirt underneath). They go out to a restaurant where they bond over the fact that Bryant's mother is also dead. I feel horrible for writing that, but that genuinely does happen. At least they are self aware of it, as Bryant assures Indy that it's good to get to know each other, even if they talk about miserable things. He walks her home and expresses interest in dating her. Indy is very adamant that they can't do that, seeing as she would get in a lot of trouble for it. The pair do agree to try a secret friendship and see how that goes. Seeing how they almost kissed while making that agreement, I'll say the friendship thing will not be a steady road.

Bryant and Indy text one another during class (Indy, he's already being a bad influence on you girl, tut tut). She also acts like someone with a secret, so Maxton confronts her. She eventually admits to him that Bryant has made it clear he wants to date her and that they are going to try being friends first. Maxton expresses surprise and asks Indy how Bryant reacted when she told him that she already had a boyfriend, i.e. Maxton.

I think I was more confused than Indy was.

At the end of the school day, Indy sits down with Maxton to try and work out how he could think they were boyfriend and girlfriend. Maxton explains that their relationship changed from friends to romantic couple when Indy was very ill a year ago and asked him to be with her. He said that she was allowing herself to show him that she was scared and vulnerable, something she never shows anybody. Indy admits that she thought their relationship changed then too, but only from good friends to best friends. She then asks why he never tried to take her on dates or kiss her during that ENTIRE YEAR he thought they were dating. He said that she's not the kissing type, meaning that he thought she wasn't ready for that. Then he kisses her, to which she responds in shock.

Right. There's a lot of feelings I have here. Mostly that this is a lazy obstacle put in place to fill ten minutes so that Indy and Bryant will have some time apart so that the audience isn't completely bored. There was absolutely no foreshadowing to this, as even the thing that made Maxton believe he and Indy were in a relationship was told to us and not shown, so we previously had no proof that he might have liked her.

Maxton (Tanner Gillman) confessing his feelings to Indy.

Maxton pulls back from Indy and examines her stunned expression.

"Yeah, I decided I wasn't going to hold back anymore." He says. "Apparently I'm AWESOME at this communication thing."

Okay, I take it back. Despite the lazy writing that lead to this setup, I liked that line and the delivery of it. Although he has the least amount of screen time of the three actors in this love triangle, Tanner Gillman as Maxton is probably my favourite at the moment. In this scene alone, he has expressed more character than his two co-stars. While I'm not enitrely sure of his acting talent, he is certainly the most charismatic. In his defence, Tim Flynn as Bryant probably the better actor, but his character is too bland to really care about (and like Maxton, I wish they had given him a decent, less hair product-heavy hairstyle). Paris Warner as Indy Zimmerman is good enough in the role, but she reminds me a little of Kristen Stewart: a bit too angsty for who she's actually playing and doesn't always appear to be entirely comfortable in front of the camera.

Back to the film, Maxton takes Indy's hand in his and tries again to woo her. He asks to be her boyfriend and Indy says she needs time to think, which Maxton agrees to. At home, Indy works on the front garden of the house. She calls hello to Mrs Whitman, remember her? We saw her that one time over half an hour ago. Like Clarisse, Indy is ignored. If she is the Fairy Godmother figure, surely it's wrong for her to treat Indy and Clarisse the same? I will continue to stand by the theory for now.

Bryant runs up to talk to Indy, who tells him all about the Maxton situation. Bryant encourages Indy to try dating Maxton to see what she really wants from him and how she truly feels. He adds that despite encouraging this, it doesn't mean that he isn't going to stop pursuing her either.

Indy goes on her first date with Maxton, during which he reveals several things he has done for her in the past that she didn't know of, such as only eating lunch with her instead of his football friends and eating school food instead of food he actually likes because it's all Indy is able to have because of Clarisse, so he didn't want her to feel bad. Moved by these revelations, Indy arranges to go to Maxton's next football game, something she has never done before. When Indy goes home, she lies about her date and says that she and Maxton were working on a group project. Indy goes to the attic where she talks to Bryant about the date, but he keeps it brief. Afterwards, he goes and talks to his dad. He admits to Dr Bailey that he regrets encouraging Indy to date Maxton because he doesn't want her to, but the conversation soon turns to Bryant admitting that he is concerned for Indy's wellbeing under her aunt's guardianship.

Okay, so this might just be a mushy pre-teen flick, but despite a very rough start, it is growing on me a little. While I really don't like the love triangle element (it's clear that Indy will end up with Bryant, having this just means we're going to be sadder for Maxton when he doesn't get to be with her), it is nice to see two guys be considerate and thoughtful of the girl they are with consistently, no mind games, and Indy is completely honest with both of them about what is happening as well as her own feelings in matters, even though she shields them from the parts about her home life as much as she can.

The next day, she goes to the park with Bryant only to get caught out by her two cousins. I'd like to know more about those girls actually, if only to actually care about them to an extent because all they seem to do is turn to goo over Bryant. We don't know how old he is though. Indy is a sophomore, which my years of watching American films has taught me means she is fifteen or sixteen, but we don't know which grade Bryant is in. Jada is a senior, and Kaitlyn is a sophomore like Indy, which can only mean Bryant is a senior too (because not many eighteen year old girls would want to date a sixteen year old boy). Also, I find it weird that two sisters are after the same guy yet they never argue about who will get to date him, and they both pursue him together.

Bryant quickly walks Indy home, knowing how much trouble she will get into if she isn't back in time, although they both know that Clarisse will already be waiting for them, as the sisters will have gotten home first. Sure enough, the evil aunt is waiting for her outside the front door. Bryant walks her home, and offers to stay with her if she needs him to, but Indy politely declines. Clarisse gives an evil stepmother speech to Indy, once again using Mrs Wiggins against her. When alone, Indy phones Bryant and thanks him for being supportive.

At Maxton's football game (or "soccer" game as they call it, this is an American film after all), Maxton injures his leg and has to sit out for most of the game. Loser, letting himself be distracted by a girl. Uh.

But really, he does look annoyed that he hurt himself on the day Indy was watching. Nonetheless, Indy sweetly rushes to him after the game, tells him he was great and acts as his support as he limps along. They stop for a quick kiss and there's a funny shot of a random woman scowling and being disgusted by the peck between Indy and Maxton.

Cut to Indy at home, face-timing Bryant to talk about the football game when Clarisse screams for Indy, calling her "Cindy", so we know it's serious. She ends the call and goes downstairs where she is confronted by her aunt and uncle. Apparently they received a call from Mrs Wickman, who turns out to be that woman who was scowling at Indy and Maxton when they kissed after the football match. My mistake, don't know how I didn't realise it was Mrs Wickman when she's had at least six whole seconds of screen time (and half of that when she actually faced the camera) in this film. Mrs Wickman called Clarisse to tell her that she had seen Indy and Maxton "making out" in front of everyone at the school, so Indy's aunt and uncle are now horrifed with her.

Wow. I was really off with that Fairy Godmother theory, wasn't I?

I learned the uncle's name in this scene! It's David. One hour in, and I finally find out what the name of the man Indy has been living with is called. Also, I think he's one of, if not the very worst actor in this and I kind of hate looking at him because it makes me feel a bit embarrassed. He's just too campy and doesn't sell it, nor do I believe for one instant that he and Clarisse are supposed to be a married couple. There is no chemistry between them at all.

Anyway, when David insults Indy's mother, she launches into a huge monologue of how fed up she is with being treated the way they treat her. The score is pretty here yet far too overwhelming for what I think should be a quiet scene focusing on Indy. However, the scene itself isn't too bad, when David and the score aren't getting in the way. It's a couple of minutes long, and delivered with a fair amount of passion from Warner, although I don't feel like she went as far as she could go with this scene.

At the end, Clarisse responds by slowclapping her. The version of this film I watched glitched at this point, so Clarisse slow clapped twice.

That. Slow. Clap.

I need a minute. I'm half amused, half done. I need to work out where I stand.

Okay, I'm back. David tells Indy she needs to change her attitude or else find somewhere different to live, but she's going to be punished for this soon. Indy runs up to her room and begins to frantically pack her bags until she breaks down and collapses to the floor. It does feel like a realistic response from a teenager to the situation, so it works.

Although Bryant has sent her several texts, Indy phones Maxton and tells him she needs him. However, he acts out of character by revealing he's in hospital for the leg he injured that day and will call her tomorrow, even when Indy tells him she's scared and it's the worst it has ever been. He hangs up on her.

Nope. Not for one second to do I believe that if there was a real life guy who, if he acted the way Maxton had been written, he would be okay with leaving her alone in this way. He made a huge point of saying how he thought they were in a relationship because he cared for her at what previously seemed to be her worst moment. Now she's in a situation worse than that, and he ignores her? It's a lazy, disappointing way to end their romance and more so, his character development.

Meanwhile, Bryant has sent a text to Indy saying he has just pulled up outside her house. He wants to check on her because he's worried. Despite any risks that could occur, that's actually a really good and sweet gesture. Good for Bryant. Team Bryant.

Indy sneaks Bryant up to the attic and tells him everything that happened. He is notably upset about Maxton kissing Indy a second time, but still sits and listens to her. He points out that her aunt and uncle are abusive, which surprises Indy.

"It's bad, but it's not abuse." She says.

"Yes it is." Bryant insists. "It's definitely emotional abuse which can be so harmful and dangerous."

Not the most realistic of lines there Bryant, but at least they were delivered respectfully enough. He then goes off to phone his father, the therapist for advice. After the call, Bryant reveals that his father now has to phone child protective services against Clarisse and David. He insists that Indy has to stay with him, with his father approving.

"If they're going to lock you in your room for being a normal child, imagine what they're going to do when they're all upset." Bryant tells her.

Firstly, I think it's odd to refer to the girl you fancy as a "child", even if you both are teenagers. Secondly, oh my God.

I've been watching a PSA for child abuse this entire time, haven't I? The conversation between Bryant and Indy about abuse didn't feel like a normal conversation about abuse. It was Bryant fact dropping on the subject with Indy being the victim in case anyone watching feels the same and can relate to her shock at being victim to this cruel thing. Is that why this film exists? Apart from a protagonist who is prisoner to her family and does chores, an aunt who happens to resemble an evil stepmother and two female cousins who are cruel but not ugly, there are no real bones of the Cinderella story here. Was that just a cutesy way to draw young people in so that they could be educated on a serious matter, one that might be affecting them?

Heck, you could argue that Roald Dahl's Matilda is a Cinderella story (no, not that one) too. A young girl, living with a family who are cruel and inconsiderate of her, a girl forced to grow up a bit too quickly. She finds literal magic to help her as she gains the power of telekinesis and she finds a Prince figure in Miss Honey, who is also a sort of Fairy Godmother (or magical tree, depending how far back you want to go with your fairytale comparisons) figure. Matilda arguably saves Miss Honey from her own Cinderella situation, as she too came from an abusive home. I'd rather watch that one than this one please.

Matilda off-tangent rant aside, Not Cinderella's Type was somewhat clever to do this. It's good to have a version of this tale where it is openly discussed that this is a wrong situation to be in, to no fault of Indy. It's also good to have the Prince, aka Bryant, "rescue" Indy from where she's living not because he met her at a ball and thought that she was pretty, but because he sees what her life is like and wants to get her out of it for no benefit of his own.

And yet I can't help feeling rather manipulated.

The set up of this film, until the last ten minutes really, has been about the romance. Which guy will Indy choose? While there is a good deed being delivered in here, the way it has been delivered feels too sudden and it changes the film from light fluff to melodrama with overly obvious message. It's hard for me to connect to this sudden change in plot when previously I was thinking "I'm glad Indy is going to end up with Bryant now."

That shouldn't have been my main thought during a film with a message like this, and I'm disappointed at how it was handled. I can only commend the film for handling the topic to an extent, without there being any unnecessary violence to make its point (after all, emotional abuse seems to go by unnoticed a lot more than physical violence does).

Shockingly, there's still half an hour to go. Let's see where it takes us.

I've watched eighteen minutes of the half hour without writing reactions. I'm sorry, I was absorbed. Clearly the first hour was the romance bit (unless they throw in five minutes more at the end, which will annoy me if that happens but I'll explain that in a minute) and the rest of it is we-have-an-important-message-to-share-and-that's-why-this-film-exists-the-two-thirds-of-it-we-spent-on-the-romance-was-just-a-side-thing-we-swear.

Indy meets Dr Bailey (also, I checked IMDb and apparently that really is the name this film gave him) as she arrives at Bryant's house. They give her a bedroom that looks rather like a very nice hotel room, which Bryant takes her to. She thanks him profusely, then they hold hands and Bryant holds her for a moment. He also tells her that she can text him anytime in the night, if she needs to talk.

Bryant bringing Indy to his home to stay, where she meets Dr Bailey (Scott Christopher) for the first time.

How lovely is Bryant?

It's a shock for Indy the next morning when she meets Bryant's sisters who are nice to her and make her breakfast. This is ruined by Dr Bailey, who tries to be nice in theory by offering Indy an apartment they have at the end of their garden where she would have her own personal space. Nobody seems to think much of the offer, including Indy, but I thought that this was deeply insensitive. You're looking after a girl who has been pushed away by her guardians for years, and now you're going to do the same thing? Who cares if it's a nice place, think about what you're offering and who you're offering it to. What might be wonderful to someone could be deeply upsetting to someone else, like if you offered a cheeseburger to me and also to a vegan.

Hmph. Just like real people, scripted ones can be so thoughtless sometimes.

Anyway, Indy overhears Dr Bailey talking with a social worker and a policeman, who say that Clarisse wants Indy home and has a powerful lawyer. Worried and afraid, Indy tearfully runs away. She stops to cry at the bottom of a tree. I would like to think that this is a nice reference to the original Cinderella fairy tale, where the titular character would cry at the bottom of a tree that contained her mothers spirit, but I think I'm giving this film far too much credit.

Bryant finds her and assures her of everything she misunderstood. It turns out that Indy really was upset with the apartment offer for the reasons I guessed, and Bryant apologises for his family's insensitivity. he also assures her that she never has to go back to Clarisse's house and that she can do the interview where she chooses to as she is old enough for that now. He walks her home.

I really like Bryant now, (and Tim Flynn in this role) but his purpose in this film has become confused. The way he has been with Indy in this situation feels a lot more like a big brother than a potential boyfriend, and I'm afraid if they shove these two together just before the credits role, I'm going to be uncomfortable. If the film wants to throw a serious subject at us, then they should be serious about it from start to finish. Indy needs to think about herself now, who she is, what she wants and what a new life with Bryant's family could mean, as Dr Bailey announces he wants to foster her once Bryant and Indy return home to him and Bryant's sisters. I don't think that makes for a particularly good mindset to be in while pursuing a relationship (or relationships, Maxton hasn't been mentioned in a while now though).

So Bryant and Indy will now be foster siblings. Take that as you will. Personally, I think their relationship depends on how Dr Bailey treats Indy. If he treats her as he treats his other daughters, Bryant's sisters, then I think it gets a bit confused. However, if Dr Bailey only treats Indy as a house guest, then won't she feel bad that she's not like the others? Won't her feelings of being a burden continue to grow, more so because she is now with new people and not the ones she knows and has accepted how they view her? Actually, there doesn't seem to be a healthy outcome for Indy in this situation, certainly not by dating Bryant anyway, which is frustrating because he is a good guy. The way he is written and notably played may actually be one of the most sensitive and genuine male characters I've seen on screen for a long time, despite how forced some of his dialogue is.

But hey, Bryant and Indy aren't related by blood, so I suppose we'll see.

Considering that this is the longest thing I have written for this blog so far (I believe) and it's almost the same length as the dissertation I'm supposed to submit in a few months, I had better try to wrap this up.

And to think it all started by me thinking a dead cat was a hilariously awful meet-cute.

We see Clarisse and David at an office waiting room, where Clarisse practises fake crying and David rehearses being a decent human being. Indy leaves one of the offices and catches a glimpse of the pair, who perform their routine for her and the social worker she's with, but stop it as soon as their gone. Again, what is with the tone here? You have a child being dragged through social services and legal investigations because these people have emotionally damaged her, yet those are the characters you continue to have as your comic relief? How does that make sense? The actual Disney cartoon of Cinderella -you know, the film aimed at kids younger than whoever this film is aimed at- had a much better evil stepmother because she was genuinely scary (anyone remember that scene where her eyes flash green in the dark, as she angrily realses Cinderella was at the ball?). You can't tell us as your audience that something is bad and wrong, and then expect us to laugh at it un-ironically. Also, Uncle David is definitely the worst out of the cast in this film, I'm glad that there shouldn't be any more scenes with him soon.

Indy goes outside and meets with Dr Bailey, who talks with her about the meeting. I think that as a character, Dr Bailey is too pure, but luckily not so much that he becomes overly (though occasionally) annoying. It also helps me a bit that he reminds me of Søren (when played by Jonathan Firth) from The Prince and Me films I reviewed. Getting over that series is taking longer than I thought.

During her first ever movie night, Indy sits next to Bryant, with his two sisters on the other sofa. She receives a text from Maxton asking Indy why she wasn't at school that day.

Random side note, but I can't believe it's taken me this long to write down: why does everyone have such unusual names? Even Cindy, Indy's real name isn't common these days. The only names I've heard in my everyday life from this film are David and Kaitlyn (which is my name, but spelt wrong). Is having an unusual name supposed to be a character trait for these people?

Anyway, Bryant replies very nicely to Maxton, letting him know the situation and telling him that he is welcome to visit Indy any time he wants to. Soon afterwards, Indy and Maxton facetime during which Maxton apologises profusely for his absence when Indy needed him, and asks questions about her and her situation. It's good to see him caring about Indy in a way that seems normal for him again, but it does bother me a bit still that they changed his character arc, a) to have a crush on Indy revealed only after the first forty minutes and b) to then be too busy for her when she needs him.

To be fair, men in real life can be just as confusing in the romantic sense in a similar way.

Anyway, Indy learns from Dr Bailey that her mother had life insurance and hundreds of thousands of pounds (well, dollars: it's an American Movie) and Indy confirms that she never received any of it, that Clarisse kept it, as well as selling all of Indy's mother's things when she died. Dr Bailey assures her that she'll get her mum's insurance money back and some extra. It's nice to know that she has a financially secure future, but it isn't revealed what will happen with this money. Will it pay for Indy to get therapy? Will it be saved so that she can have a good university education? Is it going to be given to Dr Bailey to raise her?

It doesn't sit particularly well with me that money is the source of justice here, but I don't think this is worth dwelling on at this point.

After this, Bryant talks with Indy and invites her to prom. It's odd to see them actually be talking and be excited about something normal teenagers would be interested in. Indy says that she would love to go and begins spouting out about all the things that would have held her back in the past, but now she can in fact go to the prom with him. She begs Bryant to not make her wear heels, to which he fairly replies "I'm a guy, I don't care what shoes you wear."

That explains the film poster then.

Maxton shows up and apologises for not being the guy Indy needed him to be. Indy assures him that he was, but just as a friend and explains emotional abuse to him. Maxton approves of Indy dating Bryant, although it isn't what he wants for himself. Indy assures him that he will find love one day, but in the meantime, has a best friend in her.

Maxton's genuine reaction to that comment.

I'm sorry, the above joke was too easy.

After this, Indy narrates for a bit. She reveals that Dr Bailey is good enough at his job to get her mother's insurance money back. Apparently it is all for Indy, but most of it will only be in her access when she's eighteen, which seems fair. She does keep some, which she uses to buy a car and it turns out that she moved into the pool house that had upset her enough to run away from the Bailey's earlier. She did this because she thinks it was healthier for her and Bryant, now that they are dating.

Indy gets ready for prom and gets her moment of walking down a flight of stars in a beautiful dress while the music becomes whimsical and the guy of her dreams, Bryant, beholds her.

Sorry to ruin the moment, but I do have to talk about Indy's shoes. She's wearing Converse style trainers. Apart from ripping off the poster for A Cinderella Story, why is it that chick flicks -notably those aimed at teenage girls- think that girls who wear trainers are Not Like Other Girls. Every girl I know owns at least one pair of trainers. Even I own a pair of navy Converse.

You know what would have been unique, what would have really made Indy stand out from the crowd? Imagine Indy, gracefully descending the stairs, and just popping out from the bottom of her gown are her beloved Crocs. Or maybe socks with sandals. Or socks with flip flops.

I'm just trying to say that the girl can dress for comfort, but don't pretend that she is unique and making a bold statement with a shoe in every genders wardrobe.

Also, I think they made her wear a white dress and him a black tux with a white flower on it because this is the closest that we the audience will ever get to seeing these two get married, and they have to give us some sort of visual connotation that they are bound together for life. This and the fact that their first onscreen kiss happens during this time.

To be fair, Warner looks lovely in this scene and I like that while her shoes aren't particularly unique, I do admire that her dress isn't the typical style or colour in films featuring an American high school prom. It's a classy and timeless look - until you see her feet.

"You know, if it wasn't for Mrs Wiggins, I don't think we'd be here today." Bryant says, and presents her with a grey kitten, who will probably be called something like Queen Doctor Paige.

Indy just bought a car. Bryant just bought Indy a kitten in tribute to the cat he killed with his car. I don't trust these teenagers.

Dr Bailey takes a group photo of the whole family, and despite the kitten clearly biting Bryant's finger and scratching at Indy to be put down, everyone manages to smile perfectly for the final photo image.

That cat's a chewer.

The credits roll. The film is over.

This is not the worst film I have ever seen. It's very cleanly shot and styled (arguably overly so at points, such as the opening birthday party scene). The score was pretty, despite being intrusive at certain points. The young leads who played Indy, Bryant and Maxton may not have entirely mastered their acting chops yet, but I do think they have potential for better work one day, particularly Tim Flynn as Bryant.

The rest of the film, however, is almost as messy as the remains of Mrs Wiggins. This story had no idea what it wanted to be, who it was representing or what it was trying to say. You can't change your film from a teen romance to a serious drama with law suits and emotional abuse in the last thirty minutes. You just can't do it.

The handling of Clarisse and David as characters in particular was simply awful, to the point that I am not only offended by it, but also really angry. The fact that they were played by the two weakest actors in the entire film doesn't help, but the fact that this film tried to use them as comic relief in the serious parts of the film as well as the fluffier part of the film aggravates me. Our heroine is being abused by these two morons, yet the film wants us to laugh at them, while also be appalled and find justice in them going to court for emotionally abusing her? It just doesn't work. It's offensive, to Indy's character, to kids who have actually endured emotional abuse and to the audiences intelligence.

I don't know how to feel about this film. It was dull and simple, but some parts in the first hour were decent and I even got a couple of laughs out of witty lines from Indy's love interests. However, the way the subject matter was introduced and how it was handled from that point on really appals me. I can't focus on any virtues of the film because this major flaw is very prominent, both in the film and on my mind.

Another key flaw is the nature of Indy and Bryant's relationship. I don't think Bryant treats Indy simply as a girl his age he is attracted to, and I don't think Indy should have gotten into any romantic relationships when she knew what her present situation was. Realistically, a girl in her situation would need time for herself and to adjust to this brand new life. I could understand why Indy would want to be in a relationship, but I think Bryant should have known better, or his father should have warned him against it for a couple of years at least. Now that the pair are also foster siblings, I find their happily ever after a bit uncomfortable.

Also, meeting and falling in love with the guy who killed your cat is the worst romantic setup I have ever experienced in film.

THE SCOREBOARD

Chick Flick Check List Elements: 1, 5, 7, 9, 18, 21, 22, 32, 42, 53, 55, 56, 58 (x2 points, one dead, one absent), 60, 61,

Total: 16

Is this really a chick flick or will men like it too? Definite chick flick. In terms of the age demographic, younger girls might be charmed by the romance and Cinderella plot outline. However, I don't think this would prove to satisfy older female audience members struggling with the confused script and awkward or weak acting from a lot of the cast.

Would I recommend this film? No, the more I think about it, the more issues I find with it.

Quote of the film: "Look who it is, it's the boy who killed your cat! Hahaha!" - Clarisse.

Film rating: 3/10